Where Communication “Experts” Fail…

David, David,

So much of what you say is right on. You can tell a real consultant, they explode with frustration every now and then because there is often a mismatch between what a consultant WANTS to offer and what the client THINKS they need. The client wants what they want. We try to show them what they need and how to get from where they are to where they want to be. But sometimes that just doesn’t work out. Clients can sabotage their own best interests. What’s sadly funny is that you can have a calm, logical discussion, using every piece of psychology at your disposal, they seem to “get it”, then they sabotage things again by doing the same thing they agreed didn’t work for them. Sigh. The life of a consultant. What makes it all work for the consultant is (a) we get paid and (b) they aren’t all like that by any means. But the ones that are…

Your clients seem to be normal working human beings. I work with high tech business owners and entrepreneurs. In some ways that’s easier because B2B has a certain level of predictability to it that B2C does not (at least to me). I prepare business plans and marketing plans, I research markets and competition, and I execute B2B high tech marketing projects and programs. My only problem has been that some people think all they need is a sales effort (“all you need is love” right?). They don’t understand the role of marketing and it’s integration with sales, engineering, and the rest of the corporate functions. I have built speeches and slideshows for executives to give, which is maybe as close as I’ve come to what I imagine you do. In the B2B world that’s pretty straightforward.

I’ve never been able to offer anyone “7 Key Factors in Giving a Speech to Industry Analysts” although that might be fun to write. A “real” consultant analyzes the individual situation and provides advice tailored to the unique factors before them. Our expertise comes in recognizing the unique factors and knowing what to do about them. You are absolutely right that communication begins with psychology. I read whatever comes my way on the subject and have for (cough) decades. It’s amazing how little we know and how much we continue to learn. Human beings are fascinating. Every kernel of psychological knowledge can be stockpiled for use in marketing. And I don’t mean that in a bad way…. if you have a system of ethical behavior you do not exploit psychology unfairly but you do use it to make your points powerfully. The simplest example of this is how one learns debating skills and the various types of logical arguments. That knowledge has been around for hundreds of years (or more?).

Personally I’m a big fan of neurolinguistic programming for individuals, but that’s a side note. Glad to see we agree on that. Overall, I think you were having a bad day when you wrote this. We all have them. You know what you’re doing from what I can tell. Suggest you focus on good networking venues, continue to publicize what you do well, and look for clients who are open to improving their situation. (We all know that not everyone is open to change.) My favorite people who do work similar to yours are Diane Darling (Boston, networking coach, http://www.effectivenetworking.com/) and Moshe Cohen (Boston, negotiating skills, http://www.negotiatingtable.com/). I love them both. We’ve run into each other a lot at Boston networking groups and I’ve taken sessions with both and found them inspiring teachers. I mention that to show you there are some outstanding communications coaches out there